Reasons why my cat is an asshole

Reasons why my cat is an asshole | Joseph Burrows It’s no secret that I’m a crazy cat man. I spend far too much time talking about my lil’ kitty, Wise. But there is something I’ve had to come to terms with, and it’s something that all cat owners will know to be true. It is an undeniable fact that all cats are assholes.

Sure, they can be super cute and adorable at times. Maybe they can actually be quite nice. But deep down, the assholeness is there, waiting to come out and trash your house.

Here are 12 reasons why my cat is an asshole.

1. Because my cat likes to cry at the door at 6am on a weekend

That hour should not exist on a weekend. Does he have no shame?

2. Because I haven’t been to the toilet by myself in 8 years

I just want to go to the toilet in peace. Is that too much to ask?

3. Because my cat keeps trying to trip me up on the stairs

I swear he’s out to get me.

4. Because my cat only wants to be in photos when he isn’t invited

Ever tried taking blog photos when you have a cat? Don’t.

5. Because my cat thinks he owns everything he sits on

Towels. Blankets. The dog’s bed. Parcels. Pieces of paper. If it fits, he will sit.

6. Because my cat likes to run around the house crying after using the litter tray

We already know Satan lives in your bowels. You don’t have to run around screaming to remind us.

7. Because my cat likes to knock things over just to be evil

Reasons why my cat is an asshole | Joseph BurrowsThat’s a nice glass of water you have there. It’d be a shame if something happened to it, wouldn’t it?

8. Because my cat likes to jump over the fence, but then cries when he can’t get back

If you want to leave me like everything else I’ve ever loved, that’s fine. Just don’t cry and expect me to bring you back home.

9. Because my cat pulls washing off the radiator so he can lay there

I’m sorry that my need for dry clothes and underwear is an inconvenience for you.

10. Because my cat is incredibly fussy and only eats specific food

Oh, so you don’t like Whiskas anymore? That’s fine. Don’t worry about it. I’ll just go buy you more food, because I definitely have nothing better to do.

11. Because my cat bullies the dog

The dog is old and three times the size of you. Stop stealing his bed and scaring him.

12. Because I love my cat regardless of him being an asshole, and that makes him an asshole

Reasons why my cat is an asshole | Joseph Burrows
Reasons why my cat is an asshole | Joseph Burrows
I feel like my cat is emotionally blackmailing me, but to be honest I’m 100% okay with it.

Why’s your cat an asshole? Let me know in the comments!

  • Pretty sure cassie emotionally bullies me too . . . . But I totally let her . . . .

  • Abigail Huggan

    Nothing could be truer than this post!! My cats have made me into a cat person which makes them assholes because I’m allergic to them!! I’m definitely convinced my cat tries to kill me though because he will sit across the step so I try to walk round him but he won’t move but as soon as I step over him he’ll move and end up getting under my feet. Also, the kitten decides it’s a fun game to attack your feet if you move them in bed and they both constantly want loving.


  • I can 100% relate to these Joe, they’re hilarious. I have two little demons and they don’t half make life difficult.

    I clean the kitchen worktops ATLEAST three times a day and every single one of my shoes has laces pulled out and frayed. I’m constantly trying to hoover the scratches out of my carpet – because the three scratching posts aren’t enough – and for once, I’d like to go a week without getting covered in scratches because I’m not preparing their food fast enough.

    Why did I even get cats? I’m starting to think a hamster wouldn’t have been so bad! X

    Hollie |

  • Abi Street

    This made me laugh so much!! I don’t won a cat and have never been a cat person hahaha x

    Abi | abistreetx

  • In a weird way, I think the assholeness is part of the reason I love cats so much. They do what they want and don’t give a shit, which I can respect. I wish I could be more like that. I find dogs too needy and attached, but cats are more independent in most ways and that works for me.

    Danielle |

  • My cat runs around at top speed after the litter tray too, I didn’t know of any other cats that did it until now! Maybe it’s a sort of celebratory lap?

  • AboutKari (Karolina)

    My mother calls our cat princess and she acts like a spoiled brat. She doesn’t want her freshly washed blanket, no. She wants my blanket. She won’t lie down on her pillow if it hasn’t been washed in a week, but will roll on the carcass of a dead bird. But we love her to bits.
    So I know the feeling.

  • I can relate to so many of these! My cat is an asshole because as soon as you turn off the lights to go to sleep he’ll start tearing around the room, knocking everything over and keeping you awake! x x

  • Little Pink Duck

    This made me laugh so much! Your cat is gorgeous. I’m allergic to cats so sadly can’t own one, but I don’t think I could handle the 6am wake up calls! ?

    Jess xx

  • I loved reading this post 🙂 Cats are amazing, but they are definitely little devils XD x

    Sarah | Raiin Monkey

  • Amazing. I sometimes wake up with my cat lying around my head, AROUND. THERE’S A PILLOW RIGHT THERE FOR YOU KITTY. STOP
    Love Vicki ♡ victoriajanex

  • Aww man this posts makes me miss having a cat! He’s so adorable. That little spot by his mouth is so cute!
    April x